The month of June is Men’s mental health awareness month and it is only right that this article is written.
When it comes to mental health, it is important to everyone irrespective of age, size, occupation and even gender. Mental health is a very important factor of a person. This is because a person’s mental stance is just as important as his or her physical stance. How a person responds to and carries out activities is dependent on how a person feels mentally. When it comes to men’s mental health it is specifically spoken due to the role a man plays in society and the expectant stance a man upholds or shows in society.
By societal standards a man is not supposed to show signs of fear, weakness, pity or any kind of emotional feeling. This is because a man is supposed to be tough and unfazed about situations. This stance is being taught to young boys while growing up with common phrases like “you are a man”, “man up”, “if a woman cries, you as well will cry”, “Do you not know you are a man” amongst many other phrases as though men are not allowed to show fear or any sign of weakness.
The second a man pays attention to his emotional side he is seen as weak and often times made fun of.
Men are seen as the stronger gender and seen as the people to uplift others in society. It is a man’s job to protect, provide and most of all up hold every other person at his own expense most times neglecting his own mental health. Most men battle depression, anxiety and other psychological disorders but about 85% of men fail to seek mental help or guidance. Studies have shown that men find it difficult to seek professional help.
Suicide Amongst Men
They prefer to solve it personally simply “thugging it out” rather than getting the deserved help. Males are very reluctant to speak about their problems. According to the World Health Organization (WHO) males die by suicide at twice the rate of females. And high income countries have the highest suicide rates among males.
In the United States, males make up nearly 80% of all deaths by suicide, report the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Males die by suicide four times more often than females do.[1] When it comes to statistics, the numbers will always be there but the fact remains that once there is a decline in a person’s mental health almost everything goes downhill. There is a certain pressure around men daily in society. This lasting pressure also affects their mental health and makes it difficult for them to seek help.
Real Men do not ask for help, every man wants to be regarded as a real man and if real men do not ask for help then no man will. Most men believe that whatever problem they face will pass away on its own rather than ask for help. There is also the idea of being ignorant to real emotional problems. A common saying of; “if you do not acknowledge it, then it does not exist” notion seems like a short cut to deal with emotional problems.
Many men ignore their emotional problems, a man could be dealing with depression, anxiety, PTSD or even battling with addiction resulted by looking for other means to deal with their issues other than therapy. Most substance abuse or addiction cases are as a result of ignoring mental and emotional problems using substances as the only way out. In traditional societies like the African societies amongst many others they uphold such view. That is why most men in these regions take to drinking and gambling as a way of coping with the emotional stress.
Living by the masculine stereotype will only result in men and young boys neglecting their own emotions. Thinking men are not supposed to have any of it speak more of showing it. It has become a norm which has come to dwell in societies today. Relationships also suffer as a result of such neglect because the relationships cannot thrive in toxic or emotionally stressed space. Masking loneliness, fear or sadness with coping mechanisms which are most times unhealthy.
Men view their mental health as some sort of stigma, something that is not even worth considering. It affects African men so hard that many men switch from loving and sweet to being angry or even bipolar. Without realizing it is a decline in their mental health and these usually projects on their wives and children. Many men have stated that they are drained physically and mentally as they have to show up every day for those they care about.
Some men have revealed that they cannot take breaks because their roles as husband and fathers is all too demanding. So who will take care of their roles if they take breaks every time they feel burnt out.
This is where the cord should be fixed, it is okay to feel burnt out. It is perfectly human to feel tired and to want to take a break. It is okay to be lonely, to feel fear, to be sad. Feelings do not know gender neither do they have gender. Being a man does not excuse feelings or render immunity to mental and emotional problems. There is need for a shift regarding the way society views men. Speaking up should make you more of a man than not, acknowledging your feelings and emotions should make you more of a man than not.
And as crazy as it sounds crying should make you feel more of a man, more human than not. Living in a society which compels you to hide your emotions and feelings is exhausting and terrible. Society has to accept that feeling your feelings is part of being human and no one is excused from being human.
The capability of therapy to do the work also needs to be emphasized. Before recent times, the African society did not believe in mental health talk more of therapy. If one acknowledged a mental health problem it was automatically stated as madness. Anything that was out of the ordinary was madness. They did not believe in mental health awareness some even called it a sickness from the Whites. Believing that Africans did not have mental illness while most people died of depression and other mental illness.
However in recent times, mental health awareness has gained visibility and a good amount of the population are now aware of the need for stable mental health seeing it is just as important as physical health.
Also the lack of community is another reason that men do not feel safe to speak about their problems. Most men when being told to speak or get help, they respond with it not being the easiest thing to do. To be fair, it is actually not that easy to come to terms and seek help about your problems. There is the ever present fear of being judged or of being seen.
When there is a community or a group that is focused on men’s mental health and projecting the need for them to seek help without fear. Despite the barriers that exist for men who struggles with their mental health. There is some certain level of comfort in having a safe place where men can openly discuss about their difficult experiences and feelings. Many methods like counseling and medication have proven to be effective in easing mental health issues[2]
Taking everything into consideration, safe spaces should be created by men for men to be able discuss their issues. The society should also unlearn the stance that men should not be capable of weakness or having mental health or emotional issues. Young boys should be taught that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. Therapy should also be advised and promoted as a way of dealing with mental issues rather than holding it in.
[1] https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/mens-mental-health-man-up-is-not-the-answer
[2] https://www.pinerest.org/newsroom/articles/focusing-on-mens-mental-health-blog/
