In our lifetime, social media platforms have opened doors of opportunities for entrepreneurship, self-expression, and activism. Enabling individuals to carve out niches in diverse fields. However, for women, particularly in culturally conservative regions like Northern Nigeria, success in digital spaces often comes with a price. Women in these region receive relentless criticism and online success-shaming.
This situation is mostly driven by patriarchal norms and societal expectations which disproportionately target women who defy traditional gender roles. From Jaruma’s aphrodisiac empire to FMK Clothing’s bold marketing strategies and Hadiza Gabon’s platform, women in Northern Nigeria face backlash for their visibility and innovation.
This essay will look at the roots of online success-shaming, its gendered dimensions, and actionable approaches for women to implement in order to overcome these challenges, drawing on sociological perspectives and real-world examples.
Understanding Online Success-Shaming
Online success-shaming refers to the criticism and vilification directed at individuals, particularly women, who achieve prominence or financial success through digital platforms.
In Northern Nigeria, where cultural and religious conservatism mostly dictate gender roles, women in digital spaces face unique challenges. Patriarchal norms, reinforced by practices such as early marriage and limited access to education, confine women to domestic spheres, rendering their public visibility controversial.
The success of women like Jaruma, who built a brand around Kayan Mata (aphrodisiacs), FMK Clothing, who leverages social media to market textiles and cosmetics by herself, and Hadiza Gabon Gabon, whose “Gabon’s Room” amplifies women’s voices, challenges these norms, inviting envy and disapproval from many quarters.
This shaming is not unique to Northern Nigeria. Across Nigeria, women content creators—poets, waist bead sellers, and skill instructors—face criticism for defying cultural expectations of modesty and invisibility.
Interestingly, male cross-dressers in Northern Nigeria, who adopt comedic personas, often receive lighter scrutiny, highlighting a gendered double standard rooted in societal tolerance for male transgression over female agency. This disparity underscores the intersection of gender, culture, and digital presence, necessitating a critical look at the subject to unpack and address the issue.
The Cultural and Patriarchal Roots of Criticism
The backlash against women in digital spaces stems from inbuilt patriarchal structures that prioritize male dominance and female subordination.
In Northern Nigeria, cultural practices, such as the seclusion of women (purdah), limit women’s public participation, casting their digital visibility as immodest or rebellious.
For instance, FMK Clothing’s unconventional marketing, featuring her in advertisements, has drawn ire for challenging norms that prefer women’s invisibility.
Similarly, Hadiza Gabon’s platform, which empowers women to share personal stories, is criticized for giving women a public voice, a domain traditionally reserved for men.
Sociological theories, such as Pierre Bourdieu’s concept of symbolic violence, illuminate how societal norms subtly enforce gender roles, punishing women who deviate from them.
The media’s role in perpetuating these norms is significant. A 2017 study found that Nigerian media often underreport or frame cultural practices against women in non-condemnatory ways, reflecting patriarchal biases and low awareness among journalists.
This media framing normalizes criticism of women’s digital success, portraying it as a violation of cultural sanctity rather than a legitimate exercise of agency.
Moreover, the lighter criticism faced by male cross-dressers reveals a gendered hierarchy.
Men, even when transgressing norms, are afforded greater leniency due to their perceived social capital, while women’s success is scrutinized as a threat to male authority.
This dynamic aligns with feminist-intersectional frameworks, which highlight how gender intersects with cultural and religious identities to shape experiences of oppression.
Effects of Success-Shaming
Online success-shaming exacts a heavy toll on women’s mental health and professional sustainability. Public criticism, often laced with personal attacks, can lead to self-doubt, anxiety, and withdrawal from digital spaces.
Jaruma’s brand, once a trailblazer, has waned under sustained backlash, illustrating how criticism can erode even established enterprises.
The psychological burden is compounded by societal expectations that women prioritize family over ambition, making their digital success a perceived betrayal of duty.
Socially, success-shaming isolates women from their communities. This happens as a result of envy and rivalry which discourage collective support. Instead of supporting the woman, the society usually comes together to pull her down trying to “put her in her place”
This isolation of women who have show signs of online success undermines the potential for women’s solidarity. Without this solidarity, which is a critical resource for countering patriarchal oppression, their success often turns to failure.
The contrast with male cross-dressers, such as Joker who often gain comedic acceptance, further confirms how societal norms weaponize shame against women’s achievements.
How Women Can Deal with Online Success-Shaming
Here are some simple ways women, especially in Northern Nigeria and other places, can protect themselves and keep growing online.
1. Learning to Use the Internet Safely and Smartly
To stay safe online, women need to learn how the internet works. They should know how to spot bullies, block them, and protect their personal pages.
For example, a program called Gina Mata, Gina Al-Umma helped over 1,200 women in Northern Nigeria learn how to use digital tools. With this knowledge, they can keep their pages safe and speak up without fear.
It’s also important to stay strong in the mind. Some groups, like Women in Nigeria (WIN), teach women how to ignore mean comments and feel proud of their success.
One woman, Hadiza Mohammed, used what she learned to help her community, even when people tried to bring her down.
2. Making Friends and Helping Each Other Online
Women can support each other by making online groups. In these groups, they can share their stories, help each other, and grow stronger together.
On social media, groups like #FemaleInNigeria let women from different places talk about their struggles and encourage one another.
Working with other women also helps. For example, people like FMK Clothing team up with others so that they are not alone when people are mean online. When they work together, their voices are louder.
Older women who are already successful, like Hadiza Gabon, can also help younger women by being mentors—offering advice and care.
3. Getting Support from Men and Leaders in the Community
To make real change, it’s important for men and community leaders to help. Men who are respected in the community can speak up for women and support their work online.
Religious leaders can also tell people that it’s okay—and even good—for women to lead and be successful.
Groups like the National Council of Women’s Societies talk to people in the community to help everyone see that when women succeed, it helps everyone.
4. Changing the System for the Better
Sometimes, rules and laws don’t help women enough. That’s why women need to speak up for fair rules that give them equal chances online.
In 2024, women only held 3.9% of seats in Nigeria’s parliament. This shows there’s still a lot of work to do in terms of women participation in active politics.
Groups like Musawah are helping women all over the world ask for fair treatment, especially in places where religion is important.
We also need to change how the media talks about women. Reporters should show women in a good light when they do well online. And social media platforms should stop people from posting mean and hurtful things.
Conclusion
Online success-shaming is a gendered phenomenon rooted in patriarchal norms that seek to confine women to invisibility.
In Northern Nigeria, women like Jaruma, FMK Clothing, and Hadiza Gabon face disproportionate criticism for their digital success, a challenge echoed across Nigeria and beyond.
By cultivating digital literacy, building solidarity networks, engaging male allies, and advocating for systemic change, women can tackle the “green-eyed monster” of envy and criticism.
These strategies, grounded in sociological insights and real-world examples, empower women to reclaim their digital agency, transforming challenges into opportunities for growth and impact.
As Africa’s digital revolution unfolds, ensuring women’s inclusion is not just a matter of equality but a prerequisite for societal progress.
